The Motley Body

Nothing shall be overcome. That which is not needed falls away. […] The reason that it is unwise to overcome is that overcoming is an unbalanced action creating difficulties in balancing. […] Overcoming […] creates the further environment for holding on to that which apparently has been overcome. […] It is […] a shortcut to simply […] overcome any desire. It must instead be understood and accepted.

The Ra Material, Book 1

Being Seen during a Wellness Journey

I have not made a post for about a month in this diary but this has not been because I have been lazy or in a binge coma. Actually, I keep considering the function of such a diary for me, at this point in my journey. I ask myself: what is the function of me … Continue reading

Wellness Diary: Week 9

At the end of Week 8 I weighed myself and found that I lost a pound after staying steady for weeks. This sent me into a panic, as losing weight usually does. I am not sure that many can relate to freaking out when the scale goes down; most people celebrate weight loss. But for … Continue reading

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 3

Weight Body Fat BMI Hips Waist Bust Thigh 140.6 27.4% 24 38.5 32.2 38 21 I ate really well yesterday but my weight creeped a tiny little bit. In my life, this has been my standard: when things go really well, at first they look worse before they start looking better. Such is life. In … Continue reading

Week 8 Reflection

I have been brave and making videos for some of my other outlets this month, so I figured: why not make a video journal for my wellness journey, too?

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 2

Weight Body Fat BMI Hips Waist Bust Thigh 140.2 27.4% 24 38.5 32.2 38 21 No change in weight! Movement Duration Burn YogaWalk 4530  97233 Today was a lovely day of movement! Yoga with Emily is a weekly favorite. It left me with tingles in my body. The walk was really nice out in the … Continue reading

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 1

Weight Body Fat BMI Hips Waist Bust Thigh 140.2 27.4% 24 38.5 32.2 38 21 I continue to not lose or gain any weight. I remain around the heaviest weight I have been in my life. Movement Duration Burn  Spinning  30  251 I did not want to workout today, as it is my “day off,” … Continue reading

Wellness Diary: Week 7 Day 3

Thanksgiving included a lot of eating, as expected. I started the day by eating cookies and then had a super delicious, healthy dinner, followed by pie. So, there were some good and some not-so-good choices for reaching my wellness goals. I did not get in any movement. Today, the day after Thanksgiving, I have mixed … Continue reading

Week 7, Day 2

Today’s highlight was absolutely Irish Step Dance, as far as movement goes. The day was rainy and I did not get in the walk I had planned. But I had fun dancing. Weight Body Fat BMI Hips Waist Bust Thigh 140.2 27.4% 24 38.5 32.2 38 21 My goal is now to lose 5 pounds … Continue reading

Week 7, Day 1

I realize that my plan for weightloss is not going very well. I am 7 weeks in and have not lost one pound, in fact I have gained weight. Of course, the plan is not just about losing weight but also about getting in movement, taking time for myself, eating the right foods, staying hydrated, … Continue reading

Week 6: Days 1-5

This week I felt as if I was in a fog, literally all week long. I did not log in my food — not because I was “off the rails” but really just because I forgot. This was an auto-pilot kind of week, of which I have not experienced in a long time. I felt … Continue reading

Week 5, Days 2-5

This week was a mess in terms of getting in time to reflect, breathe, or sit down to write a blog post. Somehow, even with my quadriceps injury continuing to heal, I managed to get in some movement almost every day. The week was full of moments in which I had to “pop the hood” … Continue reading

Week 5, Day 1

Well, I have had a revelation that I have reached a low place at which I feel there is an opportunity for growth and for learning. I made a post earlier today titled ” Food and Other Addictions” that explains this. Every Sunday when my daughter leaves to go with her father, I spiral out … Continue reading

Food and Other Addictions

Growing up, we were poor. Poverty, I have learned as an adult, comes with its own traumas (though I often wonder if some of that trauma comes from those who have never been poor, looking in at poverty with fear). A lot of people grow up poor and plenty of them grow up into adults … Continue reading

Week 4, Day 5

Somehow I actually got in 5 days of movement despite my healing quadricep. On Friday I did a morning yoga class with Katy. There were times that the movement was too much on my leg but I was able to modify some postures. Weight Body Fat BMI Hips Waist Bust Thigh  138.8  27.3  24   … Continue reading

Week 4, Day 4

Movement Activity Duration Burn Notes  Weight Lifting  24  123   I forgot how much I have always loved weight training. I laid out some weights and did a great session, including triceps press, dumbell flys, triceps dips, resistance band pulls, crunches, hammer curls, wide rows, and overhead press. It felt really good. The triceps dips … Continue reading

Week 4, Day 3

Weight Body Fat BMI Hips Waist Bust Thigh  140.8             Weighing myself this morning was disheartening. When the scale creeps up, I feel depressed because I associate parts of my worth with my weight, despite decades of trying to undo that association. I know that my lack of bowel movements … Continue reading

Week 4, Day 2

Weight Body Fat BMI Hips Waist Bust Thigh  139.4  27.4%  24.1  38.5in  32.2in  38in  21in Today, the stats did not move from yesterday. I wonder if I am going to be able to lose at least .5lb a week. Movement Activity Duration Burn Notes  Yoga  45 min  95   I took a risk today and … Continue reading

Week 4, Day 1

Well, last week finished poorly despite my very strong efforts. On Friday I knelt down to put a jacket on my dog (first snow and cold weather) for our walk, and I tore a muscle in my quadricep. That the muscle tore was not surprising since it was sore already for over a week, and … Continue reading

Week 3, Day 4

Today’s Movement I was extremely sore today from dance last night. This old body requires a lot more stretching before dancing than I did, and my quadriceps are feeling it. However, I did 27 minutes of step aerobics because I love it so much. 220 calories burned. I was jumping all around and had a … Continue reading

Week 3, Day 3

I think that today, this third day of Week 3 is kind of like the first day of the program. I finally got up the courage to weigh myself this morning. As I suspected, I had gained back almost all of the weight of my heaviest weight of all time. I just 2 pounds lighter … Continue reading

Week 3, Days 1 and 2

Week 3 began well with a no-sugar day after I had spent the last week eating a lot of Halloween candy. After the challenges of Week 2 I was ready for some grounding and recentering. Day 1 Movement Mondays are currently my “days off” from parenting and they tend to be challenging days. I do … Continue reading

Week 2, Days 4 and 5

I am honestly surprised that I HAD a days 4 and 5 this week! Go, me! If you have been following along in my Heavy Karma blog then you know that this week has been one of the worst weeks emotionally and food-wise (of course, because I am an emotional eater) that I have experienced … Continue reading

Week 2, Day 3

Today I was still feeling some of the residual effects of the retinal migraine I experienced earlier this week. I felt ready to push in a workout but I decided to hold back for one more day and just focused on yoga and meditation. Today’s Workout As usual lately I practiced yoga while my daughter … Continue reading

Week 2, Day 2

Yesterday was to be Day 2 of the second week of my wellness program, but I was hit with a rare retinal migraine, which I have not experienced for over a year now. There was a time for a span of almost 20 years, during which I experienced these debilitating migraine attacks frequently. They always … Continue reading

Week 2, Day 1

I intended to take two days off from fitness in a row at the end of Week 1, but that did not happen. The weather was too beautiful and I ended up going out for a walk with friends on Saturday and a super long hike with my husband on Sunday. So, Monday was my … Continue reading

Week 1, Day 6

Today was a day off for me. The majority of movement for the day came from housework and walking with some friends around the lake. We had a little fire in the backyard while our girls did some Just Dance inside. It was really nice. Today’s Workout I would not call the walk today a … Continue reading

Week 1, Day 5

I embarked on a new dance journey today! I signed up for Irish Step Dancing at my friend’s studio and had a private lesson before I join the regular adult class (which has been underway for two months already). I loved learning how to dance; it was so much fun and such a challenge. Today’s … Continue reading

Week 1: Day 4

Emotionally, today was a drain. There were a lot of challenges to confront in different areas of my life. My goal was to just try not to binge eat, because that is my default for all things uncomfortable. Today’s Workout For the workout I did 20 minutes of tap dancing. Tap dancing is an unfamiliar … Continue reading

Week 1, Day 3

While my daughter worked on some math this morning (we are homeschooling this year) I got in some movement. True, that I had to be available to help her while she worked through some complex problems, but I certainly worked up a lather. Feeling like I have my priorities straight helps a lot. Every morning … Continue reading

Week 1, Day 2

The second day was easier than the first; perhaps this is because I did some dancing today and dance is something that I really love. Fitting a workout in on Tuesdays can be tough because the day is so varied. Even though I had to pause in the middle of my warm-up yoga to bring … Continue reading

Week 1, Day 1

A little movement goes a long way! – Today’s Focus Today is a day off from parenting for me, as all Mondays are right now. It is my only “day off” from this mode and so offers some unique considerations. One is that I tend to have big emotions because my child is not here … Continue reading