Week 4, Day 1

Well, last week finished poorly despite my very strong efforts. On Friday I knelt down to put a jacket on my dog (first snow and cold weather) for our walk, and I tore a muscle in my quadricep. That the muscle tore was not surprising since it was sore already for over a week, and I had just been doing more activities, including dance and step aerobics. Something was bound to give. But it gave SO HARD that I wound up screaming and crying for almost 10 minutes because I felt such excruciating pain radiating down my leg.I “whited out” in pain.

I had to lay in bed for the day. I felt down and ate a lot.

The next day was extremely stressful because I had to hobble around to set up for our Halloween gathering. I spent about 6 hours in constant movement just getting the yard set up with decorations and games, getting food ready, going shopping for last minute items — my leg was KILLING me and I was so stressed out on top of the pain. I ended up eating a lot of candy and generally bingeing on unhealthy foods and alcohol.

For the rest of the weekend I just let my leg heal. I ate more candy. My head was not in the game because I was feeling down.

As I begin Week 4, I am like…what the hell am I doing? I am into this “program” for 4 weeks and I feel worse off than when I began. I have gained weight and have next to nothing to show for this time.

Something needs to shift. I decided to create a new template to use each day:

Daily Check-In

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
 139.4 27.4% 24.1 38.5in 32.2in 38in 21in
At my heaviest I was 144 so 139.4 is not the worst weight I have been; however, it is disheartening to see the scale that high.
Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
 Yoga Nidra 30 0 
Yoga Nidra was excellent tonight, with Amy. I went into a deep meditation, feeling tingly energy all through my body. It was an excellent way to decompress.
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300 1298 
I did allow a serving of ice cream tonight but stayed within range. I am also almost reached my daily iron goal, which rarely happens.

Daily Self CareNotes
 Yoga Nidra 
The Yoga Nidra session was good self-care today. I continued to struggle with how to stay positive with my quadricep injury. I also had a deep conversation with my husband about our current situation, so that was good for my stress level.
This was my still shot in position, testing the camera angle, before the class began.
Bowel MovementNotes
 4 
I used OxyClean supplementation today in order to have a bowel movement because I had not had one in five days.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 pounds Lose .5 – 1 pound per week
Be more present with parenting Put aside mental and emotional space
Manage stress better Meditate and do yoga, feel feelings
Balance work/play/family life Make time for all things
Feel more joy Explore interests and passions
Today I handled my stress pretty well. Although, I felt overkill with gaming, as right now I only have one day to game. I also did too much work and had too much screen time. My daughter was with her father, so I did not have to balance parenting.

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